Crying at reels and snapping over little things in the days before a period is something almost everyone goes through: it's PMS, premenstrual syndrome. It usually eases once your period starts. For 2 to 4 women in 100, it's bad enough to get in the way of life, and that can be treated.
Why are the days before a period so hard?
In the second half of the cycle, hormones rise and then fall just before your period. Some people's brains react more strongly to these ordinary changes, and doctors link this to serotonin and other brain chemicals that affect mood. That's why emotions feel louder and patience runs shorter on these days.
Is “period flu” real?
Aches, tiredness and feeling run-down really are PMS symptoms, so “period flu” is real for lots of people, even though it's not a medical term. Your thermometer may show a little more than usual: in the second half of the cycle your body is 0.3–0.5°C warmer. But 38°C or more, or chills at any reading, isn't PMS; usually that's your body fighting an infection.
What helps on those days?
Eat little and often, every 2 to 3 hours, keep moving and get enough sleep: that's where doctors start. Cutting back on coffee and alcohol on these days helps. Ibuprofen or paracetamol can ease aches and headaches.
Yoga, meditation or slow breathing ease tension. Mark the hard days in your calendar. After a couple of cycles you'll see the pattern, and you can keep big conversations away from the hardest days.
If that's not enough, there's treatment. Talking therapy (CBT), some contraceptive pills and antidepressants all help. For severe PMS, antidepressants are sometimes taken only in the 2 weeks before a period.
When is it PMDD?
PMDD, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, is like PMS but much more intense. In the 1–2 weeks before a period, you may feel hopeless, furious or unable to cope, and some people have thoughts of suicide. It gets better a few days after the period starts, and it happens every cycle.
PMDD makes it hard to work, see people and keep relationships going. It's treated with antidepressants, contraceptive pills and talking therapy. A doctor can diagnose it when symptoms come back every month for at least 2 months.
Common questions
My mum says PMS didn't exist in her day. Who's right?
You are. Doctors recognise PMS, and gynaecologists have their own guidance on treating it. You're not making it up.
How long does PMS last?
Symptoms come in the last 1–2 weeks before a period and usually ease in the first days of bleeding. If you feel low all month and just worse before your period, that looks more like depression or anxiety. About half of women who seek treatment for PMS turn out to have one of them, and both can be treated.
How do I talk to my partner about PMS without it sounding like an excuse?
Talk on a calm day, when neither of you is on edge. Show your partner in the calendar when the hard days usually come, and agree on what helps you then: some quiet, food, a hand with chores.
What if I don't get PMS at all?
That happens too: for many people, the changes before a period are mild or barely noticeable. Doctors treat PMS when it gets in the way of life month after month.
In short
- Eat little and often, every 2–3 hours
- Mark the hard days in your calendar
- If PMS gets in the way of life, see a doctor: it can be treated
Source: NHS: PMS (premenstrual syndrome)
Educational content; it does not replace professional medical advice.